Sibling Jealousy

If you had your first child in your early thirties, it is better to have the second baby with a gap of just two years. There is a little envy or jealousy in the first child because this emotion appears only at about twenty months, and the first-born cannot yet think clearly about the new baby. You will also spend a lot of time with the first-born as he is still very much dependent on you.

This kind of jealousy is often seen in the first-born. After the second baby is born the mother has to attend the newborn; and the first-born feels that his mother has stopped loving him and loves only the new baby. He starts hating the baby and keeps inventing ways to get rid of the new child so that the mother will start loving him as before. This feeling is very natural and also very powerful.

Planning A Second Baby

If you had a choice what would you have – two babies or one? Think. Is it unfair to the child to be alone, should he have the company of his sibling so that he always has somebody, to call his own, not just in childhood or at times when you might be away but for his entire life. As parents of a single child will you be too protective, thus inhibiting his full normal development? Perhaps you have decided your child must have a sibling but it is not practical. If your jobs keep you very busy, one more child could upset all your plans and tie you down to the house in the early precious years of career development. Then, perhaps, you should plan for only one child and try to frequently provide him the of his cousins or friends. You should however, bring him up with normal discipline, so that he learns that he will not always get whatever he wants.

Early Childhood Behavior

Children differ remarkably and each child has his own temperament. Even in the same family, children differ a great deal. We all know how different we are from our siblings. Thus some children are quiet and others cry a lot, some are very active, others are placid, some are quick to respond, others are slow. There are many such temperamental differences which can be traced to parental heritage. But the environmental differences (the way the child is handled and treated) are equally significant. What is most important is the consistency in the behavior of the mother or the caregiver.

There are some early indicators of the child’s development. For example, when you are talking to the baby, there should be eye contact, that is, the child should look at you for at least a short time. If the child does not react to your speech or action even at four months, then consult your paediatrician.

Toilet Training

The critical issue in child training is when to begin toilet training. It is believed that the child derives much pleasure from bowel movements and when this is interfered with, too early in life, through severe control or training, the child responds by inhibiting his pleasure-seeking activity. If toilet training is charecterized by scolding and punishment by the parents, the child may tend to become anxious. Take the baby to the sink and lift up its feet a little. Simultaneously, make soft sounds. Hold it in this position for about thirty seconds from as early as the second month and when the baby passes urine reward it by hugging and making happy sounds. If the baby does not respond, do not be disappointed but continue the same exercise regularly. Very soon the child gets conditioned to the position and the response of paternal praise. For bowel movements put him on a potty appropriate to his size, after his feed, holding him initially until he has learnt to sit properly.

Breastfeeding And Weaning

Mothers today are well informed and know the importance of breastfeeding. Initially, it may cost you some effort to breastfeed the baby. The baby is rather weak and often there is too much milk, which makes the breasts heavy. The nurse normally helps you to learn to feed the baby.

In the first months feed the baby whenever it demands to be fed. Don’t think of any regimen. The stomach of a young baby is small and tubular and becomes empty soon.

It is said initially the baby should be fed in the sitting position because there is a danger of falling asleep and the tiny baby getting choked, if you feed it lying down. After a few weeks when the baby has put on weight, you may choose whichever position is comfortable. Breastfeeding can be continued beyond the first year when it is accompanied by supplementary food. Doctors will advice you about the schedule.

How Attached Is A Baby To Its Parent?

In normal rearing, all children become attached to the mother or the caregiver, as well as to the father if he is attending the baby. This attachment begins very early, in the first month of life itself, when the baby experiences warmth and security in maternal body contact. The baby also becomes familiar with the mother’s body smell, voice, and way of handling and that is why he stops crying when you lift him. In the second week after birth, the baby looks at you momentarily but steadily. At that time there is no intended gazing; but a six week old, full term baby shows muscular facial movements resembling a smile, only to the caregiver. The infant is so sensitive that it can discriminate between relaxed handling and the tense handling, of the mother. If the baby is premature, you should add those many days before you expect this kind of behavior.

Bringing The Baby Home – Getting organized

First and foremost try to understand what it takes to be parents. Ideally, both of you should plan well in advance and get acquired with all possible requirements of the new situation. Ask your friends or other new parents about their experiences. You should prepare yourself not just mentally but also physically.

Talk to your friends and relatives about what it is like to have a baby. Both parents must get acquainted with what will be required of them. If both of you are working, you should look for a long term help, well before the baby arrives. If there are elders, examine the feasibility of their staying with you.

This kind of arrangement works in two ways. The physical as well as emotional trauma of terminating the pregnancy is overcome the young women does not have to give up her ambition. However, if you are the kind of people who are used to staying alone and cannot adjust someone staying with you permanently, discuss with each other the alternative ways and means of facing the situation. Identify in your neighborhood, a home or a person with whom you can entrust your child. These days neighbors may not be very helpful, but it worth checking if there is one who can help you, at least occasionally.

Postpartum Depression

Some women go into severe depression or extreme happiness within hours of delivering the baby. Some cry incessantly, others start muttering irrelevantly, some remain numb in a state of shock, and yet others may lose control over bowel movements. This may continue for a few hours. Doctors do not give any specific reason for this unpredictable state. Various explanations are given but none of them have been scientifically proved. However, very few women go into severe postpartum depression and it is usually not anything to worry about. Of course, this kind of unpredictable behaviors of the mother’s and their state of mind is the result of sudden demise or success of long and strong expectations, they had been framing since months.

This discussion is in no way intended to scare young couples, because most babies are born normal, after full term, and without any major complications. But while ignorance is bliss, knowledge is far more rewarding. 

The Effects Of The Birth Process

The majority of infants do not suffer serious impairment at birth. Even when an infant is born with complications, some of them disappear during subsequent development. However, less than ten per cent do have some abnormality which may not disappear, may take longer to disappear or which could pose problems. More males than females are born with anomalies mainly because of the sex chromosome or due to bigger size and bigger head of the baby. In prolonged labor or in difficult birth, the chances of neurological damage due to pressure or haemorrhage are greater for male children. Factors related to developmental deviation and infant mortality and poor resistance to infections are also more common in boys than in girls.

Anoxia or oxygen deprivation and retention of carbon dioxide during birth is something, any infant can suffer from prolonged labor or difficulties during delivery can lead to severe anoxia., brain damage, functional defects, or even death of the infant. It should be remembered that brain damage is permanent and therefore can be a cause of future mental anomaly.

Prematurity and low birthweight, in their extreme forms, are associated with intellectual impairment. Intellectual deficits associated with very low birthweight tend to be more enduring than anoxia.

Antenatal Diagnosis

There are various techniques of antenatal diagnosis such as urine or blood tests, amniocentesis and ultrasonography. Blood tests identify the haemoglobin level in the expectant mother as well as the presence of AIDS and the HIV virus. If the woman is HIV positive there is the danger of the virus transmitted to the foetus. The Rh factor (Rh+ or Rh-) is also detected through a blood test.

Techniques of antenatal diagnosis:

·         Urine and blood tests

·         Amniocentesis

·         Ultrasonography

In amniocentesis, a needle is inserted on the amniotic sac which surrounds the foetus, and a little fluid is removed. The cells in the fluid, are examined for the presence of any disorders due to genetic abnormalities. The sixteenth week of pregnancy is supposed to be ideal for the procedure as there are plenty of foetal cells in the surrounding fluid at that time, and the foetus is still small and likely to be injured. If the foetus is found to posses any disorder, it is still not too late to terminate the pregnancy. This decision should always be the last and taken in the interest of the family, particularly the mother. The mother and the family should be intimated the real situation so that they can come forward with a firm decision whether to keep the baby or not.

Maternal Age And Genetic Counseling

Maternal Age: Women who have their first child after the age of 35 years are likely to experience more problems during pregnancy and complications during delivery. Similarly, the incidence of two-egg twin formation, mental retardation, microcephaly (mental retardation associated with small skull and brain), Down’s syndrome (earlier known as Mongolism) low birthweight, and even cerebral palsy, is greater.

Genetic Counseling: Genetic counseling has become possible through advances in biology and genetics. Through amniocentesis, and chromosomal analysis in early pregnancy, it is possible to detect various chromosomal abnormalities (and these can be many) such as mental deficiency, blindness, Down’s syndrome and analysis. Parents then have the option to terminate the pregnancy and avoid the distress of having an abnormal child. There are many ethical issues involved and it is best that any decision after amniocentesis is taken jointly by parents and doctors. Of course, the mother should be consulted first and properly; every aspects must be presented to the mother and the family transparently, so that they can take a firm decision of their own.

Maternal Emotional State

Research has indicated that emotionally disturbed women have a tendency towards premature delivery and giving birth to low birthweight babies who have a greater vulnerability to disturbed emotions. This is might be attributable to generic transmission of emotionality or to the fact that the emotionality in pregnant woman induces metabolic changes which affect the foetus. It is also possible that if a pregnant women has little or no emotional support, especially at a time when she is feeling very low, tired or lonely, her anxiety level can rise with minimal provocation.

A pregnant woman requires a great deal of emotional support when she is feeling low, tired or lonely, because her anxiety level can rise with minimal provocation. She should avoid stressful depressing situations.

Some researchers have proved that if the mother-to-be talks to her baby in the womb and sings to it, the baby can easily identify its mother’s voice after birth and stop crying. The overall effort should be to avoid any tension. High maternal anxiety is associated with nausea during pregnancy, abortion, prematurity, prolonged labor and delivery complications. It is reported that a woman who enjoy support, companionship and reassurances – such as holding hands, having their back rubbed or being talked to during labor – have short labor and their infants are less distressed.

Drugs And Maternal Diet

Alcohol, drugs and tobacco are harmful to the developing foetus. The intake of these substances must come to a halt during pregnancy. Doctors will advice you to avoid even painkillers and other medicines because any drug in excess can cause low birthweight and prematurity. These days there is a concern, even about drugs administered to ease pain and sedate a woman during labor because they are known to cause neonatal depression and decreased mental activity.

Maternal Diet: it is not easy to pinpoint the effects of maternal malnutrition but in homes where there is gross dietary deficiency, especially of some vitamins or proteins, either due to ignorance or neglect of the pregnant woman, there is an increase in prematurity, stillbirth and physical and neural defects in the infant. It is advisable to consult your doctor about the kind of food you should eat, and to follow dietary instructions carefully. A sound maternal health and a good dietary is a strong ground for a healthy baby.

Maternal Diseases And Disorders

Chronic infections or the deleterious effect of venereal diseases such as syphilis, produce their worst effects in the larger stages of foetal life and may affect mental development. High blood pressure, diabetes and blood incompatibilities may affect foetal development. The increase in miscarriages and maternal or foetal death are directly related to the high blood pressure of the pregnant mother. Infants of diabetic mothers have a relatively high proportion of infant mortality and abnormalities, particularly of the respiratory and circulatory systems.

In addition, an incompatibility can occur between the blood types of the mother and child. Rh blood incompatibility is the most frequent and destructive. If the mother is Rh negative and the foetus has a Rh positive blood group from the sperm cell of the father, infant death can occur due to destruction of red blood corpuscles. This is because antibodies are produced in the blood of the Rh negative mother. These toxic antibodies are incompatible with the fetal blood causing probable death of the fetus unless the condition is diagnosed and precautions are taken.

Maternal  sensitivity to Rh positive foetus antigens increases with successive pregnancies and although the first pregnancy might be normal, later ones are less likely to be so.

The Main Effects Of Adverse Conditions

The foetus is affected by adverse conditions depending on their timing and the development stage of pregnancy. Since the various organ systems begin and end their prenatal development at different times, their sensitivity to the different factors, varies over time. The most vulnerable period for the brain is from 15 to 20 days, for the eyes from 24 to 40 days, for the heart from 20 to 40 days and for the legs from 24 to 36 days. Normally, the organism is less vulnerable before implantation and after the beginning of the foetal stage. Mishaps during the embryonic period, when the different organs are developing, could have drastic effects.

Parental conditions that can affect a child’s development are:

•           Maternal diseases and health
•           Drugs taken by the mother
•          Maternal diet
•          Maternal emotions
•          Maternal age

Since individual factors influence specific development processes they produce specific patterns of the developmental deviation. For example, German measle in the first trimester affects mainly the heart, eyes and brain. The physiological status of the mother, such as maternal nutrition, uterine conditions and hormonal balance will not only affect prenatal development but may intensify the adverse effects of the various drugs taken by the mother.

Prenatal Conditions And Their Effect On Development

There are many factors which influence development and cause deviation or produce malformation in the foetus. These include maternal diseases, blood disorders, diet, irradiation, drugs, hormones, oxygen level and temperature. In addition, maternal characteristics such as age, emotional state and number of children, are known to have an influence on prenatal development. Adverse prenatal and birth factors can result in gross physical defects or mental impairments. These impairments profoundly affect the life experiences of the responses of those around. How does a parent treat a child with physical or mental deficiency? Is the parent more anxious and protective or more rejecting? What happens to parent-child interaction? How is the emotional bond between parent and the child affected? Thus it is for sure influences of adversities in mother’s well being will reach the child. Prenatal development is very crucial stage of life where it starts developing structures and behavior based on many factors and inputs from the mother. 

The Period Of Foetus – Two months to birth

The period of foetus is the third stage of prenatal development. It extends from the end of the second month to the time of birth, which normally occurs at the end of around 280 days. It is characterized chiefly by growth and development, as all the body parts and structures have already been established in the period of embryo. At the end of the third month, the foetus measures around ten inches and weight about 250 gram. By the end of the eighth lunar month it measures about 16 inches and weighs about 2 kg. At full term, that is, 280 days, the foetus measures about 19 inches and weighs 3 to 3.5 kg. However, there are large individual differences in these estimates. The estimate may vary on various accounts say for example, the mother is weak or mother takes less nutrition than she is supposed to, or her emotional status.

The Period Of Embryo - Two weeks to two months

The second stage of pregnancy is the period of embryo, it extends from the end of the second week to the end of second month. It is a time of rapid change and by the end of the this stage, when you are barely aware of your pregnancy, the embryo has developed into a miniature human. During the period of embryo, special structures form to provide nourishment and protection until the baby is born. These are the placenta, umbilical cord, amniotic sac and amniotic fluid, all inside the uterus. The umbilical cord is attached to the embryo’s abdominal wall at one end and the placenta at the other hand. The cord is composed of blood vessels. There are no nerve cells in the cord thus making transfer of the mother’s emotions to the embryo impossible. In due course, the chord becomes about twenty inches long and as thick as a man’s finger. The amniotic sac contains amniotic fluid which protects the embryo and later the foetus from external shocks and injuries. Just before birth the sac breaks, releasing the amniotic fluid which helps to lubricate the passageway for delivery. The embryo is nourished through the maternal blood flow into the placenta from the arteries in the uterine wall, thus permitting oxygen, water and food material in the mother’s bloodstream to be transported through the umbilical cord to the embryo. Through the same cord, embryonic waste products are filtered back.

The Period Of Ovum - Conception to two weeks

This stage extends over a span of two weeks from the time of fertilization until the fertilized egg (now called the zygote) reaches the uterus. During this period, the foetus-to-be retains its egg-like appearance. Its size, which is no larger than a pinhead, remains practically unchanged because it receives no external nourishment. However, marked changes take place in the internal structure of the zygote. The single cell divides repeatedly until it forms a globular cluster of cells. The outer layer develops into accessory parts which protect and nourish the embryo. The inner cluster of cells later develops into the embryo itself. This cell division takes place as the fertilized ovum is carried down the fallopian tube to the uterus. Normally, fertilization occurs in the fallopian tube. When the zygote reaches the uterus it floats there for some tome before attaching itself to the uterine wall. It has to survive on the little yolk within the egg cell. When the ovum finds a place inside the uterus, it shoots out feelers which push their way through the blood vessels to tap nourishment. This process is called implantation and occurs about ten days after fertilization. Occasionally, the ovum does not move down to the uterus and becomes attached to the wall of the fallopian tube. This is called tubal Pregnancy and is a condition, which can endanger the mother’s life.

The Phases of pregnancy

From the onset of menstruation in all girls, when a mature egg cell is released from the ovary, the lining of the uterus begins to undergo changes in preparation to receive the fertilized egg. This is carried out by two hormones, estrogen and progesterone, produced in the ovary. These two hormones prepare the uterine’s wall by increasing the blood vessels and glandular system of the wall so that it becomes a thick soft cushion capable of housing the fertilized ovum and secreting nourishment. If no fertilization takes place, all this preparation is eliminated from the body in the form of menstrual flow.

        As soon as you feel that a baby might be on the way, you should consult a doctor. Follow the doctor’s advice faithfully on the routine and specific tests that she prescribes and the precautions you may have to take. Get her to explain to you the natural course of pregnancy and place complete trust in her prescriptions. Don’t take medicines recommended by friends and neighbors to overcome discomfort, particularly during the first three months. Medicines must be taken only under medical supervision as they can be very harmful to the baby growing inside you. The nine months pregnancy is divided into three periods of three months, each known as trimesters. Each trimester demands its own specific medical care, immunization routine, scans, and so on.

Twins

It is said that the birth of twins runs in families and they are usually born in alternative generations in families which have a history of twins. There are two types of twins: fraternal twins and identical twins. In the case of fraternal twins, instead of one ripe ovum being released in the monthly cycle, two ripe ova are released from the ovary into the fallopian tube. These two eggs are fertilized by two different sperms and thus two different zygotes develop simultaneously in the uterus. Since they are two different zygotes, they may be of the same sex or of different sexes, and they resemble each other only as much as two ordinary siblings do. In the case of identical twins, only one egg is fertilized but at the time of the first cell division, they separate and two foetuses develop instead of one. Since they they have developed from the same zygote, the foetuses are exactly alike and of the same sex.